It's been 6 years

As we wake up in the morning


and your not here to see,

we grasp for some reality...

that our dreams can never be.



We'll bake a cake & buy balloons,

we'll burn a candle too.

We'll play your music, look at pictures

and shed some tears for you.



We'll imagine what the day would bring,

if only you weren't gone.

You'd run and laugh, and jump about,

we'd sing the birthday song.



You should be here today,

excited as can be...

Sifting through the toys and wrap,

bursting forth with glee...



But God had other plans for you,

these plans, we'll never know.

Today, the candle burns,

...with no tiny lips to blow.



We'll do our best to make it through,

this day we meet with dread.

We'll do this all for you, my love...

on this road of grief we tread.



So on this day... my precious son,

You're birthday number two...

your in our hearts and in our thoughts

....as we send our love to you.



© Sharon Kivisto 4/2/99

2 years since the last time....

Well hello there...it's been some time. A lot has gone on in the last 2 years since I have blogged. We now how a 3 year old and she is pretty amazing.  We are still trying to potty train. That will happen soon...haha we hope. We just got back from a 2 week vacation to Arizona and California. We celebrated little misses 3rd birthday there. It was so much fun...and we went to disneyland how fun is that..she keeps talking about how she wants to go back to Disneyland or back to Arizona.
Well here are some pictures of or little one who is growing so much

Merry Christmas

                                                       Merry Christmas

I know this is a bit late BUT hey better late then never! hope you all had an amazing holiday season. We sure did. Much love to you from The Rausch Family.

Another month has ended......

Well here it is July already. June was fun. We went hiking to Timpanogo's cave. We went to the Tracy Aviary to see the birds. We also went to Thanksgiving point to the working farm and had a fun time seeing all the animals. Watching lots and lots of Softball. Going to The Living planet Aquarium. We also had a baby turn 8 months old. She is crawling all over. She has started to pull herself up and stand. She tires to stand on her own. That does not even last a second, she has shed a lot of tears. She loves to feed herself. IF she could all the time she would. She likes to eat treats and whatever you are eating. She does not have any teeth yet.  Everything goes in her mouth.  She is just a happy little girl!! Always smiling. LOVING IT! Here are some of my favorite pictures for the month of June...........

Your babies didn't really die, sadly my baby really did....

I remember it like it was yesterday, However its been almost 4 year. Being in the ultra sound room at the hospital and being told your baby has no chance of staying inside. That you are most likely going to have this baby soon. You are just over half way with your pregnancy, you know there is no chance for your baby outside your womb. I thought it would be a couple of days. I was hoping for a week and a 2 days to make it to 24 weeks. However we only had hours. Hours to prepare for his arrival. He came so quickly and we were never prepared for him to come so soon. We were heartbroken when he left us after a few short hours.

My Question is, how bad can your life be that you want to "escape" life to fake this happening to you. NOT once but twice. Why fake this at all. I would never have chosen this journey. I would not wish this on anyone, not my worst enemy. SO to get a little background on this question is......

I got on Facebook on Monday, one of my friends asked for prayers for a fellow BLM (baby loss mom) Her husband had just been in a horrible accident and her 2 month old Rainbow was in the car with him. He suffered 9 broken bones and the baby had brain damage. They lost their Lily to cord accident about a year before. They had to make the heart breaking decision of letting their Chloe go after the accident. She had no brain activity. Now they are parents of not one but two dead babies. BUT are they really. No, after a day of speculation by several people it has come out that she was faking the whole thing. IT never happened. She had no Chloe and she had no Lilly. You can read more about it here.

I can't believe the lengths that people will go to get attention. I guess I just don't understand the logic of needing to fake stuff. I live this life everyday, I deal with the fact that someone is missing from my family. That I only get to raise one of my baby's. People are just CRAZY!!!!

May is gone june has begun

So here it is almost the middle of June. Kennadee is growing up super fast. She is starting to move around. Roll everywhere, getting on her knees wanting to crawl. More interested in standing then sitting. She is saying DA. We are trying to make that into a word. DADA. maybe soooo. She is always so happy, even when she is in a grumpy mood. She has been so much fun. She is ALMOST 8 months old. I can't believe it. She is getting too big. Here is some of my favorite pictures from the month of May.

Photo Contest again.

Well I entered Kennadee again....Its fun for me and something to pass the time while I am at home with our sweetie. Something Fun to do. I like to go and see where she ranks every night. Its easy to vote all you do it go here and click vote. Its that easy. You give no information about yourself out!!! Thanks for voting.

or go here :)

http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/1312457