4 months

WOW she is 4 months now. Crazy, on the 24th is was one year ago that we went to the Dr to get pregnant. AMAZING, how one year can change. We never thought that when we went To get pregnant one year ago today that we would end up with a baby 9 months later. She is an absolute blessing. She has made our world a better place. What an amazing year :'} WE are SO so BLESSED  Kennadee has some new what I call fascinations. She has been trying to sit up while in the laying down position. She likes to have her hands in her mouth and if they don't get in fast enough she snorts. Its the cutest thing EVER! She also started to stick her thumb in her mouth. I sure hope I don't have a thumb sucker. I sucked mine thumb until I was TEN! if I do, it wont be the end of the world. AND MY FAVORITE thing, she has started to laugh in her sleep and ITS amazing. Last night I kissed her and she smiled and then LAUGHED! Oh how my heart filled. I never thought I could love her more then I did and GUESS what I DO!!! Oh my, she is amazing. I know I have said this before, BUT I really mean it. WE are SO SO blessed to be her parents. Kyle said she laughed her biggest laugh he ever heard tonight. I am SO sad I missed it.  She had her 4month check up. She is Weighing in at 11 pounds 13 ounces. She is up 4 pounds since birth. She is in the 15th percentile with her weight! She is 23 1/2 inches, she is 5 1/2 inches taller then she was at birth. She is in the 20th percentile with her length. She has a 41 cm head. She is in the 55th percentile with her head circumference  LOL She is still CUTE!  I don't think I have any updated pictures for her. I suck BIG TIME. Oh I do have one picture. ITS one of my fave and SO I leave you with it!! This picture is PRICELESS!!!! and I found one more I like :)

No Excuss

Well, I am By far the WORST blogger. BUT I will make it up to you with pictures I took on valentines day.

These were fun edits. I went to Picnik,com

The first one, I added lipstick to her. 

I really had so much fun!!

One Organ less

So, I had my gallbladder out last week. I am doing well and am already back to work. I am a bit sore still, but sure that will get better soon. SO when I die I will have one less organ to donate when I die. LOL I started having problems with my gallbladder in November 2010. We had just starting trying to get pregnant with Kennadee. I started to have some problems in my first trimester. With what I call gallbladder pain.  I changed the way I ate and the time I ate. I was doing fine. Until I started back at work. I was eating later and drinking caffeine. Although I got my gallbladder out, I still have a 90% chance of getting Cholestasis of Pregnancy again. Which really sucks. I am hoping I start to feel better with having this done. Hopefully so.

Fears

Ever since we lost Kenner, I have had this fear of  loosing Kyle. When I got pregnant with Kennadee, the fear was ten fold . I had the fear of loosing Kyle while I was pregnant, and of course loosing the baby I was carrying. I now have major anxiety about loosing all 3 of my baby's. Yes I included the dog. I am so afraid that they are going to die, that they are going to leave me alone. I think about this everyday. It never leaves my head. If I don't hear from Kyle I go it to a panic. and think he is dead and Kennadee is alone. or Kennadee died while he was sleeping, and he does not know it. Or they are all dead and when I get home they will not be breathing. Its like this life I am in, and it will all be taken from me. The people I love the most will no longer be with me. That I will be left alone with out anyone to love me, or to have someone to give my love to. I really don't like to feel this way. Its awful and I am sure it make the people around me feel I don't trust them to be alone with Kennadee. That defiantly not the case. I sure hope that this fear will leave me. That I will not constantly feel this way. I will leave you will pictures of our sweetie pie