6 months......Really???

24 weeks with you sweet pea and guess what!!! I can't be more excited. I don't have much to say. We get to see you next week. That is pretty exciting AND I have my GD (gestational diabetes) test. Not much has changed from last week to this week.  I am just so happy you are still with us, in my belly and pray everyday you stay there sweet little one!! Happy 6 months in the womb Kennadee

3am thoughts

Kyle and I went to bed at different times last night. First time in a while. I went to bed and he stayed up and played a game. He never plays games anymore. AND he is never alone, I am always with him at home and then when he goes to bed I do. SO I let him have some alone time. I slept til 3 am which is my normal pee time. I woke up and Kyle was not in bed yet. I went do to use the bathroom and he was up watching a baseball game. We went to bed and I could not sleep. That is what normally happens anyways. SO I just laid there for FOREVER letting my thoughts take over my sleep! I just kept thinking that I needed to blog about depression. Not sure why, but of course my depression came to mind.
Growing up I always knew my mother had depression, that she had to take a pill for it. IT was not until later in life that I found out my dad was also on a anti-depressant. AT this time my sister was also. I always thought to myself that I would never take an anti-depressant. I didn't need them. It was about 3 years ago. May 2008 when I decided I needed to think about taking something. My life, I felt was falling apart. It was...and I was sick of trying to be positive. In my life I never had suicidal thoughts, but I was thinking about driving off the road. wreaking my car on purpose. Hopefully in the accident I would die. Why did I all of a sudden have these thoughts? Lots of things I really don't want to go into. One of them though was the opportunity to adopt a baby. Then that opportunity was gone in a flash. AT this point in my life Kyle and I had been married for 8 1/2 years. We have wanted a baby for 8 of those years. Trying on and off for those 8 years to have one. Here we were given this Idea of finally having a baby and then nope its gone. I don't want you to think that is the only reason for my thoughts, its not. There are many more. I just don't want to share them with you all. I decided I needed help, went to the Dr and got on this magic pill. UMMM not really but it helped. I felt better. I didn't want to die. In July of this same year, I found out I was pregnant with Kenner. Here it is the opportunity to be parents again. TO be a mom again. This time much more real then the last time. I had a baby growing inside me. I was happy, Kyle was happy. We were going to have this baby. Then five and a half short months later, it was taken from us again. Our world was shattered, I am still picking up the pieces. During my pregnancy, I was taking my Happy pills. When we lost Kenner, I had to change to different happy pills ones that where a bit stronger. I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't eat unless kyle fed me. I of course was unhappy and who wouldn't be. I was angry that we were given this opportunity to be parents again and it was taken from us. For the next year i took my pills, on and off. I decided in 2010 That I didn't need them. SO I stopped taking them. IN reality, I should still be on them BUT I am REFUSING to take them while pregnant. I woke up this year after I became pregnant with Kennadee. I Told kyle WOW I am surprised you are still with me. I was in this fog for 2 years. Not caring about anything. Not doing anything for anyone but me. I was being selfish. Let that get between Kyle and I. I am surprised he didn't leave me. I was probably not the funnest person in the world to be around for the last 2 almost 3 years. The fog has finally lifted and I know that my day to day life has to involve my happy pills. Why am I refusing to take them while pregnant. Have you seen those commercial. IF your were taking BLAH BLAH BLAH while pregnant. Your baby has BLAH BLAH BLAH then call so and so. SO I mean can they really be good for your baby??? I think not. I do however have a plan to get back on them 6 weeks before my due date. If you know anything about anti-depressants you know they take about 6 weeks to work.I know that I am going to need them once Kennadee is born. I don't want to slip into a bad depression.  Anyways, SO glad you all stuck around for this long winded post! Have a GREAT day, I know I will.

Thinking and Stats

I have been thinking a lot about Kenner. I don't know what most of you believe, I am LDS or what others would like to call Mormon. You can learn more about it here. I believe that Kenner and Kennadee spent sometime together before she came to us. I was thinking the other day, I wonder if Kenner told Kennadee what amazing parents we are going to be. That we loved him every second of his life and she will get that too. I hope he felt that in the short time he was with us. I tear up just thinking about it. I also think that Kennadee looks a bit like Kenner. What do you think??

I also have the weirdest pregnant body ever. My lower belly is small and flabby and my upper belly above my belly button is HUGE and hard. She is a strange baby that is for sure. HIGH up already.

How far along? 23w2d




Maternity clothes? Of course



Gain? Last time I was checked I had lost weight, down 4 pounds. BUT that was 6 weeks ago.



Stretch marks? I found a new one the yesterday, on the upper part of my belly. Above my belly button where Kennadee likes to spend most of her time

Sleep? Hardly



Best moment this week? Thinking of when she comes home. all the things we will do with her



Movement? Yes, Lots, but still wish it was more



Foods I am loving? Anything with Sugar....Ice cream and otter pops are good. They keep me cool Hash Browns with salt and ketchup are Delish



Foods I am hating? Things that look gross

Symptoms? Headaches, and sleepiness. Oh I do have lots of pelvic pain. LOL hahaa



Gender? She's a GIRL!!



What I'm looking forward to? Each and every day she is in my belly




Milestones: We are almost a week past 22w4d AMAZING :)

23 AMAZING weeks

23 weeks with you sweet pea and I just and more amazed everyday I am still pregnant with you. I think a head like next year in July. You will be 8 months and what we are going to do. We have so many plans already. I get excited and then I just have to reel myself back to reality. I can't help but be a little cautious. I am still scared but feel a sense of hope. I feel like this could be really happening to us. That we will get to be parents to a live baby. I am just SO SO excited about it. I can't wait. I could sit and stare at your pictures all day long. I could feel you kick until forever. I just love you moving. Its so much fun. Sometimes I feel as though you take me by surprise when you kick me. Like you catch me off guard. LOL how is that possible?? I think its that you are getting stronger, so the kicks are getting a bit harder and take be by surprise. We are so in love with you sweet pea. Today I started to listen to your papa's favorite singer. So you can get used to him and love him as much as your papa does. Not too much has changed from last week. Other then you getting stronger and that you are still in my belly and I am the most pregnant I have ever been. We love you sweet Kennadee
Momma and Papa

Well

I am thinking of going private.I have never wanted to do this. BUT I feel as though I am being stalked. SO to help prevent me from going private. Will you please leave a comment on this post when you visit my blog. I really don't want too BUT I think I might just have too!

Thank you all

Back by Popular Demand!!

How far along? 22 Weeks 3 Days

Maternity clothes? Of course

Gain? Last time I was checked I had lost weight, down 4 pounds. BUT that was 5 weeks ago.

Stretch marks? just old ones
Sleep? Hardly

Best moment this week? Seeing Kennadee in 4d AMAMZING

Movement? Yes, Lots, but still wish it was more

Foods I am loving? Anything with Sugar....Ice cream and  otter pops are good. They keep me cool

Foods I am hating? Things that look gross
Symptoms? Headaches, and sleepiness. Oh I do have lots of pelvic pain. LOL hahaa

Gender? She's a GIRL!!

What I'm looking forward to? Making it past Saturday the 16th of July

Weekly Wisdom: Don't drink a bunch of water before bed, you will have to pee a million and one times in the night!!

Milestones: We made it to our Anatomy scan <3

Sweet Kennadee

Yesterday we got to see Kennadee in a whole new light. 4d AMAMZING......We also got to see her the normal ultrasound way :) in detail though. I have one active baby in me. She is still to small for me to feel her all the time. I figured out why she was less active on Monday....She wasn't less active, she just moved up to above my belly button. I don't feel her up there. BUT that is where she is hiding most days now. I noticed on Wed that I was HUGE up in that area. Didn't know why, and now I do. Everything is looking GREAT. The ultra sound tech asked about previous pregnancies and we talked about what happened with Kenner. She was just so sweet. When we told her Kennadee's name she got teary eyed. I was teary eyed the whole appointment. It was just wonderful to make it to that appointment. To get to see our daughter in such a new light. I just am in love with her even more then I was before, I didn't think that was even possible. It sure is.....Right now she has the estimated weight of 1 pound 2 oz and crown to rump is 6 inches. She has very long legs and of course the best thing ever.....My nose. Kenner had my nose also :) that makes me SO SO happy. I leave you with the AMAZING Pictures of our Sweet Kennadee.........(some are a bit blurry and that is because she was moving like crazy)

Of course there are UpS and DoWnS

22 weeks with you sweet pea! And of course 21 weeks ended with some drama....from me. Yesterday started out as a normal day. Watched a move, cleaned the basement, went to the mall with cousin Carrie and her little sister Sara, We went to lunch at Cafe Rio, came home napped for a few. Played cards when Kyle came home, had dinner, and then some ice cream and sat down to watch a movie. After my Ice Cream was done, I realised I had not felt Kennadee move for most of the day. She is normally active after I eat, especially when I eat Ice Cream (I had chocolate Ice cream last night BUT she likes mint chocolate chip better) SO I laid on the floor on my left side then My right and nothing. She is pretty active when I lay on my right side. BUT nothing. Got up drank 3 big glasses of Ice Water laid again on the left then the right side nothing. Sat on the couch and pushed nothing. I was freaking out. I decided to take a shower had a great Farrah cry  and then got out and laid on my left side, nothing. Right side and she starting kicking and has not stopped since. I know, I am going to be a bit more paranoid this week. I just have to wake up tomorrow with no bleeding, then the next two days with no contractions, and then get through Saturday 22w4d with out having a baby. I am trying to be positive, I just have a lot of anxieties about this week. Thursday is our BIG ultra sound and we never made it there with Kenner. Its a scary place to be. I just wish I could go through this pregnancy blissful, with no worries, BUT I can't. Nothing too monumental this week.I am still LOVING sugar, and have been trying to not have so much obvious sugar. SO that I can have the less obvious stuff, like bread and pastas. I am still laying in bed at night uncomfortable. I would say sleeping BUT not much of that has been going on for me. I miss sleep and I will continue to miss my sleep. I am giving it up for SOMETHING AMAZING.

21 weeks 1 day

21 weeks with you sweet pea!! We get to see you in detail next week. I can't wait. I am starting to feel you more and more everyday. I love to feel your kicks. Its the best feeling in the world. I have been seeing if Daddy can feel you, but every time his had goes on my belly you stop kicking. You are being a little stinker already. I did something completely crazy yesterday, I went and registered at Target. I never did that with Kenner. I never felt like I needed too. It was fun, looking at all the cute baby items. I am getting a little scared only a week left until the scary part of this pregnancy. I just want to get pass next week and see and hear our baby's heartbeat. I need to know everything is OK, and that I will move forward with this pregnant. That I can be more pregnant then I have ever been. I am scared. Nothing more to report for this week. I am craving lots of sugar. And my feet look like sausages by the end of the night. Other then that, everything is GREAT!!!